Leaving the “What Ifs ” Behind

What if?

What if my pain is worse tomorrow? What if I can’t sleep? What if I have a reaction to my new medication?

What if my condition worsens?

What if my friends won’t understand why I can’t go out to dinner or talk on the phone for long?

What if I have a fall? What if I need more surgery?

What if this, what if that?

What if?

We all ask “what if?” during the course of our lives. It’s a normal thing to do but it can be exhausting to head down that path.

The healthy and the chronically ill alike are plagued with times of worry, concern and overwhelming moments of “what if?”

Living with a chronic illness though does tend to make the “what ifs” seem a little louder and worrisome at times.

We are already living with the “what ifs” that as a healthy person we might have worried about. That worry of “what if” I become ill or disabled?

That “what if” has happened. That is now our “what is”.


Living with a chronic disease can be like living your worst nightmare, if we let it.

One thing I have learned though over the years of living with chronic illness and a rare disease, is that you can’t live with the “what ifs”. They are paralyzing, soul destroying and will leave you so mentally disabled that you will never experience the joys that can be found when you cease asking “what if” and start focusing on “what is”.

Look around you. Acknowledge your current challenges. That’s important. Being in denial only causes longer term problems but don’t forget to count your blessings. Name them. Write them down.

Life may not be perfect but it’s still your life. Your life to be lived to the fullest within the bounds of your physical limitations.

While I have many real daily challenges associated with living with a rare disease, let’s for a moment take a look at the positive side of “what is” for the Chronic Illness sufferer.

What is…

●You overcome pain and fatigue every day even if you feel like you don’t.

●You live with it, you manage it, you have amazing strength

●You have incredible empathy for others who experience hardship

●You have determination and courage

●You love life, you cling to it and you find ways daily to enjoy it as best you can…even if that means resting on the couch enjoying your favourite TV show.

●You enjoy the simple things in life and you cherish them. Things like flowers blooming, that others may never notice. You notice the intricate colours and the way the bloom opens and closes.

●You never take anything for granted.

●You know life can be uncertain but you know that change can bring new opportunities.

●You know that tough times happen but you know the intensity of those times does pass and joy returns.

If you are experiencing a season of asking “what if?” and worrying about the future, acknowledge your concerns but then take a break from that question and focus on the “what is”.

“What is” allows you to break free from unnecessary despair. It allows you to breathe more deeply and evenly. It allows you to think more clearly, conserve your energy and focus on the real challenges you might be facing, not ones that may never happen.

Before you know it you are moving forward again and leaving the “what ifs” behind you.


If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding and friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic and complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.

I’m a regular Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page

I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women





12 thoughts on “Leaving the “What Ifs ” Behind

  1. Thank you for this! The list of “what is” was especially helpful. I really needed to remind myself that I overcome pain and fatigue every day even if I don’t feel like it.
    Wishing you the best day!


    1. Thanks Kenra. You’re right, we overcome more each day than we give ourselves credit for. I’m so glad the “what is” list helped you a little. Take care xx


    1. Thanks Terri,
      I think the “what if’s” always present first don’t they but with time we can learn to quickly replace them with the “what is”. With everything it takes time & practice. I’m always needing to remind myself to keep my thoughts focused on what is.
      Thanks for commenting
      Blessings xx

      Liked by 1 person

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