“Shall we, shan’t we?”
“Do we need that? Should we part with those?”
“Will this piece fit? Oh no, it will just look all wrong there!”
This conversation has been on a continuum between my husband and I for weeks.
Yes, moving house is the reason why we are talking in circles. Moving house and downsizing to be precise and it is not for the faint-hearted!
Our new home will be perfect for our needs. It’s not much smaller than our current home, but the different floor layout and one less bedroom, has required some mental gymnastics to work out what stays and what goes.
Most importantly whatever we do has to leave space for freedom of movement. Everything has to flow. My progressively decreasing mobility is front and centre of all our decisions.
Taking A Walk Down Memory Lane
As I’ve been contemplating which pieces of furniture we’d part with, I’ve been taken down memory lane. Back to days full of such promise, hope and expectation, not realising what lay ahead with my health.
My piano was purchased 15 years ago. We’d just moved across the country, my career was progressing and I decided I wanted to start playing again. Life was amazing. It had been years since I’d played. Singing was always my first love and my talent. Playing the piano required more work.
It was so good though to start learning again and before long my fingers were swiftly moving across the ivory keys and, much to my surprise, making beautiful music.
Only a few years later I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and my hands struggled to hold anything, let alone play the piano!
Today with my bone disease in full force, I can’t even sit at it to attempt to play. I’ve held onto it for years now as a memorial of my love of music.
It’s time to say goodbye to my piano.
Music is in my soul, my voice, not in an instrument. I’m so thrilled we have found a new home for it where it will be loved, played and cherished. It makes letting go so much easier.
Another special piece of furniture is an old Singer sewing machine and table. It’s at least 70 years old. It belonged to a beautiful lady who was an old family friend when I was growing up. Having migrated to Australia from the UK when I was 3 years old, I didn’t have any Grandparents close by. This lovely lady was very much a Grandmother figure for me, often like a fairy Godmother. Her generosity of spirit was incredible and her faith in God was unshakeable.
To this day I still remember her pearls of wisdom. One in particular has always stayed with me. She took me aside one day, at the age of 18, and said;
“Sam, as you go through life, remember God is no man’s debtor”
She gave of her time and her money in such an inspirational way. Nothing was too much for her despite having an incredibly difficult and abusive husband. She taught me living a life of faith and generosity brings depths of joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.
God truly is no man’s debtor. It’s not about a life of works or earning brownie points from God, it about being open to serving Him in whatever path he sets before us. Not being afraid to walk that path is where true blessing is found.
So the little sewing table reminds me of love, faith, prayer and friendship. Parting with it is not easy but I know it’s time. I have to be practical and I know if my beautiful adopted Grandmother was still alive, she would completely agree. I’m praying it too will find a special home.
Welcoming The New
There is always sorrow involved with letting go, parting with things we love, moving on.
It can be cathartic too. Closing one door to open another, presents new opportunities.
Some people love change which helps with the “letting go” process. I’ve always loved change but as my health has progressed for the worst, I am now longing for stability, security and safety.
I no longer want to be surrounded by things in my home which remind me of what I can’t do. I need to set up my new home in an enabling way. Everything in it needs to provide, or point to, freedom, independence, ease of care.
I need my home to be full of things I love to look at, enjoy. It needs to inspire me to live my best life possible.
It’s exciting to have the opportunity to let go and welcome the new. It feels like I’m on an adventure to a better life. Even though my health to some degree is forcing the change, we are being proactive and doing it before we absolutely have to.
It’s taken a bit of courage, by my husband and I, to be proactive when my health is so unstable. We could have just stuck our heads in the sand and found multiple reasons why it’s all too hard. Believe me the list of reasons is endless.
It is hard, but it’s incredibly exhilarating to do something which points to having a future, a new beginning. It’s breathing life into our souls. It’s giving new hope.
Keeping My Eyes Fixed On The Goal
The next month or so will be full on and I do have moments of wondering how I’m going to make it.
I have a well thought out, detailed plan, which is ready for execution as soon as the time to move gets a little closer.
I’m keeping my eyes on the goal. Imagining myself settled and relaxing with a cuppa in my new home. Pure bliss.
Letting go is definitely worth it, especially if holding on is causing you to miss out on something new, something wonderful, something right.
Letting go, can bring amazing relief and even joy, once the sorrow passes.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning
Psalm 30 v 5
If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding & friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic & complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.
I’m also a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page
I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women
If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story