Optimist, Pessimist, Chronic Complainer and A Kindness Mindset!

Chronic Illness is a tough cross to bear. There is no denying it.

Having a cheerful disposition while writhing in pain, or dealing with news of a chronic illness diagnosis, may sound like an impossible dream.

I can see my readers nodding and saying “you’ve got that right Sam!”

Stay with me on this though….. we need to grieve our losses and that will take time, plus be both emotionally and physically painful.

Once the grief begins to ease, I believe we have the opportunity to choose what our future disposition will be.

The Joy Of Responsibility

I was listening to a sermon today by Dr David Jeremiah and he was preaching on the “Joy of Responsibility”

In short, he was encouraging Christians, to remember we have a responsibility to be cheerful even in an unhappy world.

It’s very much the same message and example I share in the chronic illness community. A Cheerful Approach To A Chronic Situation is one of my blog posts, focusing on having a cheerful heart, despite the physical battles.

It’s not easy and believe me, I often fall short. Medications mess with emotions, soaring pain can bring me to tears and I can be as grumpy as the next person.

I don’t like me when I’m that person. It doesn’t help my pain levels, it doesn’t help me feel better. If I take stock, stop, breathe and acknowledge things are going pear-shaped, I can then deliberately make a choice to be cheerfully optimistic.

My disease won’t change but my disposition can.

There is no point me running  Medical Musings with Friends , my Chronic Illness support forum, or blogging about living a life of faith and hope with a rare disease, if I don’t choose daily to make a concerted effort to live a life of joy.

I choose a life of optimism, with a cheerful disposition.

I choose a life where I care about others.

I choose to be happy despite the cross of chronic illness. In fact, I have found I can be joyful because of my chronic illness!!

I know it sounds strange to read those words, but chronic illness has introduced me to amazing people and opened opportunities to help others in such meaningful ways. It’s allowed me to spend quality time with my husband. It’s given me time to write and explore my longtime dream of being an author.

There are many other things that I count as joy as a result of my disease. The list grows the more I think about it.

So Which Will You Choose?

According to Guy Winch, Ph.D. at Psychology Today, below are the differences between how an optimist, a pessimist, and a chronic complainer sees the world:

“Optimists see: A glass half full.

Pessimists see: A glass half empty.

Chronic complainers see: A glass that is slightly chipped holding water that isn’t cold enough, probably because it’s tap water when I asked for bottled water and wait, there’s a smudge on the rim, too, which means the glass wasn’t cleaned properly and now I’ll probably end up with some kind of virus. Why do these things always happen to me?! “

I had to laugh at the Chronic Complainers description. None of us could deny we haven’t been that person at some point. I definitely have.

Imagine though if it was our constant disposition. What an unhappy state of affairs. It makes my pain levels and exhaustion rise just thinking about living in a state of chronic complaint.

Sadly, some people are chronic complainers. Some people are just happy being miserable. Often mental illness plays a part, but for those of us who are not mentally ill or deeply depressed, we can choose a sunnier disposition.

For anyone struggling with mental illness, I encourage you to seek the relevant medical help to manage your disease effectively. You too can, with time and the right help, embrace the “Joy of Responsibility” to make the choice to be optimistic.

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21 Days Of Kindness Challenge

I’m about to start a 21 days of kindness challenge on my online support forum.

I have been chosen by “The Mighty” to be included in a Lady Gaga initiative to promote this 21 days of Kindness campaign.

A Calendar sponsored by The Mighty, to support the #BeKind21 campaign, will be launched far and wide online from the 1st September. My kindness quote will be at the bottom of the calendar. While it’s a huge honour I must admit it feels a little surreal.

Kindness brings hope and a
sense of community that lets you
know you’re not alone.
– Samantha Moss, Mighty Contributor

Lady Gaga’s not for profit organisation is called “Born This Way” and it predominately helps raise awareness of mental illness.

The #BeKind21 campaign runs from the 1st Sept to 21st September, which is world peace day.

https://www.channelkindness.org/

I’m participating by including a “Kindness Challenge” post each day on my forum. This will remind all members to share something, big or small where we have shown an act of kindness.

It could be an act of kindness to someone in our personal  lives, a stranger or maybe doing something to be kind to ourselves. Self-care is very important, especially when working on choosing happiness and especially when living with chronic illness.

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A Kindness Mindset

To really embrace this campaign, to really show kindness anytime, we need open hearts. We need to replace a complaining heart with a listening heart.

We need to listen to others needs, not our own. We need to think about walking in another’s shoes to understand how we can connect with them. What would represent a true act of kindness for them?

We still need to acknowledge our own needs and find a way to fulfil those, and we can do so without a complaining spirit. We can replace our complaints with positive thoughts.

We can start thinking about solutions to address our needs once we stop complaining.

Ultimately we can make a difference daily, to an unhappy world, by showing a little kindness.

We could even be the instrument to change someone’s chronic complaining disposition, into one of optimism.

I hope you’ll join me, in some way, on the 21 days of Kindness campaign.

Together let’s choose an optimistic focus, which will hopefully continue well into the future.

Lots of love

Sam xx

If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding & friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum Medical Musings with Friends. It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic & complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.

I’m a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page

I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women

I’m a member of the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network, the Grace Girls Facebook Group and Salt and Light Linkup Group

If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story

Please click here to read our Privacy Policy

WEGO Health Award Nominee 2019- Best in Show Blog

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WEGO Health Award 2018 Top 10 Nominee

 

 

6 thoughts on “Optimist, Pessimist, Chronic Complainer and A Kindness Mindset!

  1. A little kindness & compassion can go a long way. I hadn’t heard of the BeKind21 campaign, what a fantastic idea! I’ll check out the site you linked to next. I also love how you make the whole disposition issue so empowering; part of our disposition is choice, it’s an effortful, mindful thing to move towards a more positive and cheerful disposition. It’s not easy, and it’s a constant work in progress for me too so I think you’ve done brilliantly in showing that it’s something many of us will have to work at. Another fantastic post, Sam  ♥
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Caz. It’s definitely a tough topic to tackle so I really appreciate your encouragement. I hadn’t heard of the Be Kind 21 campaign either until I was asked if my kindness quote could be used. It’s an abridged version from an old blog post/Mighty article I wrote ages ago called “A Random Act of Kindness”. I’d forgotten all about it!!
      Thanks again for your beautiful comment xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so happy to hear of your positive mindset and your kindness challenge. As a quadruple amputee, my blog is my inspiration to the world that although we have difficulties in our lives, God has bigger plans for us. We just need to keep a smile on our faces. It sounds like we’re kindred spirits.

    Like

    1. Hi Wendy, thank you so much for commenting and your encouragement. I’m excited to check out your blog. We do indeed sound like kindred spirits. God bless xx

      Like

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