A while ago I wrote a blog post titled “Hair Loss..It Does Matter Even If It Doesn’t”.
I was starting out on my hair loss journey when I shared this chapter of my story. Back then, I was able to get hair cuts and use hair colour, to cover the early stages of alopecia.
Fast forward 6 months or so and I am now officially balding, as opposed to thinning. My crown, my fringe and the back of my head, have significant bald patches.
There is no hiding from it. No point denying it. No escaping it.
I need to deal with it, both physically and emotionally.
I never thought I would ever use the word “comb over” in relation to my hair styling….but here goes!
I can use the comb over technique to make the front of my hair look lush and normal (with lots of hair spray). The only problem is the back of my hair is left with gaping holes.
I can comb my hair and tease it on the crown but, you guessed it….I am left with a bald scalp and a wispy fringe which is nothing short of ugly. No point deceiving myself!
I stare in the mirror in disbelief. I have to believe it though. It’s real. Not a matter of maybe it’s thinning or a worry about going bald.
It’s here, its happening to me. I’m not reading it in a text book. I’m looking at it on my head.
You know what? I don’t like it. Not for one minute. I’m being brutally honest because I’m pretty sure 95% of women would feel the same.
I don’t care about having lots of short hair or long flowing locks. I’m just happy with a layer of hair that covers my scalp, all of my scalp. I still hold out hope it may grow back.
I’m also aware it may not.
When a woman loses her hair, a whole range of options lay before her to help cope/live with this new found baldness.
Wigs, full or toppers, are perhaps considered the ultimate option. Yes they can look wonderful but there are issues:
- They need to fit well;
- They can feel hot and heavy and a lot of messing around can be involved having them cut to suit;
- They are not cheap and generally only last 12 months.
- You need to care for your wig as you would your own hair so it’s not as easy as others may think.
- If you still have some of your own hair, you may still want to colour it for those times when you just can’t bear something foreign on your head. So no getting out of that task….unless of course I shave it all off. I’m not mentally prepared to do that yet.
Scarves, Headwraps, Hats, Turbans, Bandanas, are all options you’ll consider and try.
They have their pros. Easy to pop on, come in so many styles and colours. They can look casual, smart or elegant.
They also have their cons:
- I live in Australia and they are so hot on my head. My disease causes me to really feel the heat so while it’s summer, I’ve had to face the reality they are not working for me. Bring on winter and I’ll love them.
- The range of choices becomes expensive. I wear mostly patterned tops, so I’ve had to source non patterned headwear which has proved a challenge. I love the patterned scarves and turbans but I can’t afford to change my whole wardrobe to suit. I like to be coordinated, so this matters to me.
Feeling good about how we look is so important to overall well-being, especially when your primary diseae has already robbed you of so much.
I’ve decided, for the moment, I’m more comfortable with my own balding locks.
I know my hair.
I like how it frames my face.
Yes, it has visible bald spots. Yes it’s not ideal but I’m so tired of the whole process of finding a workable solution to cover my head. My bone disease is screaming at me. My pain is through the roof.
My face has always needed height on the crown, so it takes time to even arrange a pre-tied lightweight headscarf on my head.
I simply can’t be bothered worrying about it anymore.
Colour Me Happy
So, I have coloured what’s left of my hair a lovely chestnut brown. It’s filled in some of the gaps, or certainly given the appearance of more hair.
I’m happy with it for the time being. I have purchased a wig topper and my hairdresser is going to work with me to help it fit better and be thinned a little.
I’m sure I’ll use it some days. It’s a beautiful colour.
I’m looking forward to winter and can’t wait to have fun wearing warm hats, caps, beanies, scarves and turbans.
But for now, I’m embracing my baldness and I feel more at peace about this decision than any other option.
It seems “Au Naturale” is sometimes the best option. Our own features, despite their flaws, are ours. They fit, they suit us, they belong. Don’t underestimate your natural assets, even if they are a bit worse for wear.
I’m finally feeling happier with where I’ve arrived at this stage of my hair loss journey, and oh my goodness……what a journey it is.
If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding & friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum Medical Musings with Friends. It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic & complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.
I’m a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page
I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women
If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story