“Shall we, shan’t we?”
“Do we need that? Should we part with those?”
“Will this piece fit? Oh no, it will just look all wrong there!”
A year ago, this conversation had been on a continuum between my husband and I for weeks.
Yes, we were moving house and it was the reason why we were talking in circles. Moving house and downsizing to be precise and it was not, is not, for the faint-hearted!
Our new home is perfect for our needs. It’s not much smaller than our previous home, but the different floor layout and one less bedroom, required some mental gymnastics to work out what stayed and what needed to go.
Most importantly whatever we did had to leave space for freedom of movement. Everything had to flow. My progressively decreasing mobility was front and centre of all our decisions.
Taking A Walk Down Memory Lane
As I now sit in the comfort of our new home, I’m acutely aware of the toll the move has taken on my body. It’s been nearly 12 months now but I’m only just beginning to feel like I am truly “home”.
I’ve been contemplating which pieces of furniture we parted with as we prepared for the move last year.
I’ve been taken down memory lane. Back to days full of such promise, hope and expectation, not realising what lay ahead with my health.
My piano was purchased 15 years ago. We’d just moved across the country, my career was progressing and I decided I wanted to start playing again. Life was amazing. It had been years since I’d played. Singing was always my first love and my talent. Playing the piano required more work.
It was so good though to start learning again and before long my fingers were swiftly moving across the ivory keys and, much to my surprise, making beautiful music.
Only a few years later I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and my hands struggled to hold anything, let alone play the piano!
Today, with my bone disease in full force, I can’t even sit at a piano to attempt to play. I held onto mine for years as a memorial of my love of music.
Last years downsizing made sure it was time to say goodbye to it.
Music is in my soul, my voice, not in an instrument. I’m was so thrilled we found a new home for it where it is loved, played and cherished. It made letting go so much easier.
Another special piece of furniture was an old Singer sewing machine and table. It’s was at least 70 years old. It belonged to a beautiful lady who was an old family friend when I was growing up. Having migrated to Australia from the UK when I was 3 years old, I didn’t have any Grandparents close by. This lovely lady was very much a Grandmother figure for me, often like a fairy Godmother. Her generosity of spirit was incredible and her faith in God was unshakeable.
To this day I still remember her pearls of wisdom. One in particular has always stayed with me. She took me aside one day, at the age of 18, and said;
“Sam, as you go through life, remember God is no man’s debtor”
She gave of her time and her money in such an inspirational way. Nothing was too much for her despite having an incredibly difficult and abusive husband. She taught me living a life of faith and generosity brings depths of joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.
God truly is no man’s debtor. It’s not about a life of works or earning brownie points from God, it is about being open to serving Him in whatever path he sets before us. Not being afraid to walk that path is where true blessing is found.
So the little sewing table reminded me of love, faith, prayer and friendship. Parting with it was not easy but I knew it was time. I had to be practical and I know if my beautiful adopted Grandmother was still alive, she would completely agree. It also found a lovely new home with a very special friend.
Welcoming The New
There is always sorrow involved with letting go, parting with things we love, moving on.
It can be cathartic too. Closing one door to open another, presents new opportunities.
Some people love change which helps with the “letting go” process. I’ve always loved change but as my health has progressed for the worst, I am now longing for stability, security and safety.
I no longer want to be surrounded by things in my home which remind me of what I can’t do. I needed to set up my new home in an enabling way. Everything in it needed to provide, or point to, freedom, independence, ease of care.
I need my home to be full of things I love to look at, enjoy. It needs to inspire me to live my best life possible.
It was ultimately exciting to have the opportunity to let go and welcome the new. It felt like I was on an adventure to a better life. Even though my health to some degree forced the change, we were being proactive and doing it before we absolutely had to.
It’s took a bit of courage, by my husband and I, to be proactive and move house when my health was and is so unstable. We could have just stuck our heads in the sand and found multiple reasons why it was all too hard. Believe me the list of reasons was endless.
It was hard, but it was incredibly exhilarating to do something which pointed to having a future, a new beginning. It breathed life into our souls. It gave new hope.
It hasn’t disappointed. Our new home is perfect for us in so many ways.
Keeping My Eyes Fixed On The Goal
The actual move was full on and I did have moments of wondering how I was going to make it.
I had a well thought out, detailed plan, which thankfully worked, or at least kept me alive!!
I kept my eyes on the goal. Imagining myself settled and relaxing with a cuppa in my new home. Just like I have enjoyed today. Pure bliss.
Letting go was and is definitely worth it, especially if holding on is causing you to miss out on something new, something wonderful, something right.
Letting go, can bring amazing relief and even joy, once the sorrow (and pain) passes.
Don’t be afraid to let go of things in your life that are holding you back. We can always find reasons not to do something, but that list of reasons to say no, can prevents dreams becoming realities.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning
Psalm 30 v 5
If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding & friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic & complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.
I’m also a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page
I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women
If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story