Today I am literally stuck! Stuck upstairs until tomorrow morning at the earliest.
My stair lift (affectionately called shifty) decided last night that it needed a holiday from lugging me up & downstairs all day & it just stopped. No warning, no consideration of how much I depend on it. It just stopped & left me trapped upstairs.
I am grateful I was at least upstairs as it was bed time & I could seek solace in the comfort of my bed but this morning as I look down at our straight, steep staircase, I feel stuck. I feel trapped. I feel disabled. I feel dependent.
I considered attempting to scale down the stairs this morning but one look down, the throbbing pain in my leg & the fact that I can’t distinguish my knee from my thigh due to swelling, told me that if I did try I could be creating unnecessary trauma & lasting damage…..well more lasting than I already have anyway.😊
I also had my husband telling me, actually yelling at me, not to even consider trying to come down. Fair enough too as he would be the one picking up the pieces or trying to catch me if I stumbled.
On a serious note though, the breaking down of Shifty scares me. It makes me feel so vulnerable. I know I’m not alone in the world of the disabled to feel like this. When physical disability strikes, so many things that were taken for granted on a daily basis are just snatched away. I am so reliant on my crutches, my stair lift, my medication and above all my husband.
I am blessed not to be living alone & even as I type I can here the kettle boiling downstairs & I know a cup of coffee, loving made, is on its way to me. My life isn’t easy but it could be so much worse.
I worry for those in our community who are disabled & live alone. Even I need more assistance in terms of physio, podiatry, care respite home care . I am battling government agencies to get the care I need because I’m under 65 & don’t fit their set in stone criteria. They are in the process of transferring me to the My Aged Care system as my case is unique & I am grateful for that but the letter to get that process under way still hasn’t arrived. It’s been 3 weeks since it was promised. Another issue that makes me feel stuck!
So for today I’m stuck but hopefully tomorrow I’ll be back to my level of independence where I can go up & downstairs as much as I like….providing they can fix shifty of course, otherwise….well I don’t really want to think about that 😮