You know how it feels to be watching a really sad movie, or reading an emotionally charged book, and you just need a break from it…..well, at the moment, I feel the same writing about chronic illness.
In particular, I’m sick of my own sickness story.
I need to push pause, change the channel, read another book.
Not forever, just for a moment.
Chronic Illness Overload
Life is more than chronic illness. I am more than my disease. However, as the years go by I feel more and more defined as the chronic illness blogger/writer, who runs an online support forum for others living with the same reality.
Yes, it’s true. It’s who I am, it’s what I do and what I live with everyday.
It’s only a part of me though and I think I’m even losing sight of the real me, as I am engulfed with my pain and the pain of others.
I’m clearly having a case of “Chronic Illness Overload” and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
So I need to solve this if I’m going to be effective in my desire to help others and not lose myself in a chronic illness cavern.
Too Much Of A Bad Thing
We all know the saying “too much of a good thing”.
Well, it’s very possible to also have too much of a bad thing.
No matter the extremes of life, the good and the bad, we need a rest. Periods of amazing happiness or excitement have their used by date. We have to return to a level of normalcy where life is on an even keel. Always looking for the next adventure and injection of excitement is not sustainable or even conducive to healthy well being.
It’s the same with focusing on the hard realities of life like a chronic illness. You have to switch off at some point and try and be normal. Try and remember who you are underneath the layers of symptoms and diagnoses.
If I feel fatigued by my own story, I can’t help but imagine how others must feel reading about it. Even the progression and updates must be causing stress and an overarching sense of needing to change the channel.
I know on my forum, members often feel hurt by the response, or lack of, from friends and family when they share medical news. Let’s consider though, these people do care and are concerned and love you, but they can only take so much too.
It’s entirely feasible they have a case of chronic illness overload and need to push pause, take a break, turn the page, listen to another story.
The Other Me, The Other You
So, chronic illness aside….who are you, who am I?
- I’m a wife who dearly loves her husband;
- I’m passionate about interior decorating and love my home;
- I’m a singer and love music;
- I’m an Aunty, a Nana, a Daughter, a Step-Mum, a Niece, a Cousin who loves her family unconditionally;
- I’m a friend who will always support and love those closest to her;
- I love road trips in the countryside;
- I love garden cafes with gift stores attached;
- I was a Leader in the business world for 30 years and am still passionate about leading and coaching as opportunities present;
- I love change management in particular;
- I love writing, non fiction is my main passion. I’ve studied freelance journalism and non fiction writing;
- I love accounting….I’ve always had a love of numbers and partially completed a Diploma of Accounting for fun! So creating budgets, cash flow projections, managing accounts, is my idea of a good time;
- I love dogs, horses, ducks and geese….all animals really but they are my favourites;
- I’m a Christian who loves God and has a tangible faith;
- I’m far from perfect. I get grumpy, I can shout and rant with the best of them but I never hold a grudge and will say sorry first,within an hour usually. I hate being/staying angry;
- I love murder mystery TV shows, period/historical dramas;
- I love studying history;
- I love flowers….especially roses;
- I love entertaining at home;
- I’m passionate about helping others;
- I’m a clean freak and make no apology for it;
- I love makeup, clothes and making myself look as nice as possible;
- I love holidaying in Australia. I love my country;
- I love sending greeting cards and I save any received;
- I love wrapping presents;
- I love collecting teapots, pretty mugs and plates and clocks;
- I am fascinated with all things medical and was going to be a Nurse. At 18 I was accepted into the WA School of Nursing, but decided to take up a banking position for a year first. The rest as they say is history as I remained in Banking and worked my way up, through the years, to Executive Manager level.
Connections Are Important
So if you are reading this and feeling weighed down with your own case of chronic illness overload, take some time to reconnect with who you really are.
What would your “Who Am I” list look like?
If you are a friend or loved one of someone with chronic illness and are also experiencing a case of chronic illness overload……..It’s ok, we get it!
Perhaps connect with your friend/loved one by letting them know you’re overwhelmed and you’d love to do something, with them/for them, non health related.
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
(Isaiah 40:31)
So let’s dump our case of chronic illness overload and realise it’s so important to feel connected, with who we are, aside from our diseases, and with others in our lives who are so important to us.
Sam Moss
(Much More than a Chronic Illness)
If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding & friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic & complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.
If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story
If you prefer an audible version of more blog posts, please check out my Podcast, Medical Musings With Sam
I’m a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page
I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women
I’m a member of the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network the Grace Girls Facebook Group and the Salt and Light Linkup Group
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https://www.wegohealth.com/Sam/awards
My Medical Musings 
It’s so true Sam, lately I have been bogged down in my chronic illness too. Three of our granddaughters are coming to visit in a weeks time and I will cook with them and Jeff will take them to the park. We will swim and just enjoy the Nanna and Poppy time. This will be a huge lift for us both. Thanks Sam.💜
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Spot on Sam
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So accurate
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Thank you for writing this piece. I totally understand this, every morning when I wake up, it’s there again. The reminder that I am no longer in control. The foggy head, the tiredness and fatigue even though I’ve just woken from sleep. The medication waiting to be taken. Appointments I have to attend and the constant reminders that my body no longer functions as it did, and it won’t get better either. Brain surgery has left me with so many obstacles to adjust to and the thought of living with a remaining brain tumour can be fearful and exhausting, body,mind and spirit at times.
Does this brain tumour and brain injury define me? No, there’s so much more to me than a diagnosis and treatment. I have to remind myself that God has a bigger picture in all this and that ‘I am, who he says I am’. I do believe I still have purpose, I am still achieving, my story helps others, my determination has inspired others. I can be funny in the midst of this fear. I can still live and have found new activities to suit my condition. I have more empathy and understanding of depression, anxiety and fear. I suppose I’ve learned a lot so far.
I can’t change my condition, but I can choose to respond the best way I can to each situation I find myself in.
Thank for sharing your list of who you are, it prompted me to think. Gosh I am so much more than this brain tumour. It may have put limits and restrictions on my daily life, but it doesn’t define me.
Joanne
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Thank you so much for sharing your journey and thoughts Joanne. Write that list. You are an amazing lady and I have no doubt your list will be awesome xx
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Father,
husband,
grandfather,
son
Kynex roller coaster builder
tiny electric care runner
funny
sometimes church message giver
student
teacher
learner
laughing old fart,
bicycle rider
and so many more.
its a long list
Oh and
I was let go from my last job,
i did not want to stop working
i hate being lonely
I am often alone, or used to be
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I love your list…you are all those things and much more. You’re also an amazing writer, patient advocate and supportive friend.😁
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Thank you, thank you and thank you again. I have just rejigged and old post because I was running out of ideas and though it is going to be my next post because it’s already out there, you have certainly given me food for thought for my next one.
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Rachael, I so understand. I have been re-jigging quite a few old posts too. I’m glad I’ve helped inspire you’re next post and looking forward to reading it x
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I was once told by a medical professional not to get ‘sucked down the rabbit hole’ when I received yet another diagnosis for something, fibromyalgia I think it was. I didn’t think much of her and I still staunchly defend the online world because it is such a blessing to those of us with chronic illness. But but but, I do think there can be that sense of overload, as you say, and everything illness related can take over. We are not our conditions, as you quite rightly point out. It’s good to step back and remember that, to remind ourselves of the other parts of ourselves that can get left behind. They’re still there. We’re still us, underneath it all. xx
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Thanks Caz,
I so agree…we are blessed to have the Internet, social media etc to connect with others walking in our shoes and being able to create wonderful supportive communities. Xx
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Oh, how I feel this post!! Near the end of 2019, I reached the point of being so overwhelmed by motivating and encouraging others via my groups that there was nothing left for me. I took action and so far what I chose to do appears to be working. It’s tough when we need the nurturing that we give. Hugs!!! BTW I love that you took time to list and recognize who you are in addition to chronic illness.
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Cynthia, thank you so much for sharing what you’ve been feeling. You have summed up exactly how I feel at the moment. I don’t think people fully understand just how much energy, emotion and empathy we invest in running our forums. While it’s incredibly rewarding, it is also incredibly exhausting.
I’m so glad you took action. Hope you’re feeling a little better xxx
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I really appreciated this post Sam. Sometimes I feel pressure (from myself) to keep blogging even when I’m burned out from talking about my health. It’s so important to give ourselves permission to take a break though!
I really like the idea of listing some of the things that define us beyond illness. I write a review of the last year just for myself, and I think I’ll make this list a part of my recap from 2019. Thanks for the idea!
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Enjoy making your list Cassie. I’m sure it will be amazing ❤
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So much yes to this post! Chronic illness overload is definitely a thing. I struggle with it sometimes. I don’t blog as much about my illness, but I do report on it as a journalist. There are times I’m in the midst of article research or at a medical conference and I just have to talk to my husband and get out of the chronic illness world for a while. It can be so overwhelming. Thank you so much for sharing this post. It isn’t something that’s talked about very often. I’m in the midst of various articles, lots of research and a big deadline this week and feeling overloaded as well. This was a nice break and reminder that I’m not alone! ❤
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Can I just say that I relate to this on so many levels?
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Girl! This is so on point. I read this at the PERFECT time because it sounds like you are reading my thoughts. I’m TIRED of my problems, my pain, my constantly changing and complex symptoms, canceling plans, missing deadlines, surrendering dreams, and watching weeks/months/years go by and feeling no better. I’m TIRED of always telling people that I’m “hanging in there but it’s still really hard.” I’m tired of setting goals and then not being able to go through with them. I’m tired of being a burden to my parents and not being able to contribute to society. And, thinking about all that at once quickly leads to chronic illness OVERLOAD! One day it will all be over, but in the meantime it’s good to remember who I am and what I love beneath all of the pain. Thank you for encouraging me to do that.
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Oh Olivia…my heart goes out to you. I so get it ❤❤
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Thanks Sam, it is so easy to be your disease as it is huge but I totally agree, we need to identify who we are really. It is an interesting exercise to list what makes up us and put illness aside for a bit. Thank you 🌸
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