Strength For Today

My pain in my broken left leg has been escalating on a daily basis. I knew a week ago something wasn’t right. I expect some pain in this leg as it’s still broken but it should be stabilised. It’s anything but stable.

I always end up in a quandary when this happens. My hips are also affected by Rheumatoid Arthritis so sometimes it’s hard to know where the pain is coming from. I don’t want to bother my Surgeon unless I absolutely have to. I’m trying to avoid surgery at all costs as I wanted a good 6 month break from it all. I’ve spent the week wondering, ” Should I ride it out & hope that it will settle on its own? Should I increase my pain medication? ”

I tried to do both. Riding it out only produced more pain & increasing my pain meds hardly touched the surface.

Feeling slightly defeated I sent my Surgeon an email. I couldn’t quite get to the point of picking up the phone & calling him. An email seemed less intrusive, less panicked & I knew he would consider it carefully.

Two days later my phone rang. His Secretary was checking in to ask a few more questions. That afternoon an xray form was emailed to me & off I went, yet again, to take photos of my leg. I had to stand in pose like positions this time. It felt more like a photo shoot than an xray which seemed strangely fitting as I think my leg could have its own portfolio with the number of xrays it’s had.

The next morning the phone rang early. I knew who it was so I took a deep breath & answered the call. Sure enough my xrays have revealed that the pole, holding my broken femur together, has become unstable & is irritating my break. My Surgeon wants to see me this week to discuss options….surgical options.

I feel relief to know I haven’t wasted his time. I need intervention & it’s strangely comforting that there is an explanation for the change in pain.

There is hope ahead that I will be able to get things stable again. I’m reminded again that I have a caring Surgeon who doesn’t desert me & who believes me when I say something doesn’t feel right. That gives me strength for today.

So a tough week ahead finding out exactly what these couple of options involve but I’m hanging on to my faith & belief that I will be given “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow”