We Can Stay Stuck Or We Can Grow

Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”

Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings

I love this quote by Henry Cloud. Throughout my life I have always looked forward. Always been thinking of ways to improve my personal life and professional life. At work we used to call it “continuous improvement”. Never resting on our laurels. Reminding ourselves we were only as good as our last achievement and today was a new day. A new opportunity to improve, to inspire, to embrace change.

Chronic Illness And Continuous Improvement

When we live with chronic illness, the concept of continuous improvement seems almost ridiculous doesn’t it.

But is it?

Our lives, while significantly impacted by our diseases, don’t need to be completely dictated by them. We can make changes which will catapult us into a new future. We can see our new circumstances as a time of opportunity, rather than a time of retreat and despair.

We have to want to though. I know and understand how tiredness, pain and disease symptoms, can be crippling emotionally and physically.

I also know this chronic illness crippled state, feels so much more oppressive, if we allow it to become our entire world.

Sometimes depression takes hold so severely, you really are stuck and just cannot move forward. If this is your situation, please don’t try and cope alone. Seek professional help to ensure you can break free from the chains keeping you from seeing a way forward. A helpline, your Counsellor or Psychologist, or even a close friend, may be the helping hand you need to get unstuck.

So how can we move forward and become the person we were meant to be?

You may have had dreams in the past and chronic illness has snatched them from you. It’s cruel and it hurts on every level, there is no denying it.

However, holding onto those dreams, which are clearly now unrealistic, may be causing you to be stuck and unable to move on.

There is a solution. We can leave those unrealistic dreams behind in order to find new ones, especially if we want to move on with our lives.

Creating New Dreams And Moving On

When creating new dreams with chronic illness, one thing is for sure, it will take time and patience to create a realistic vision for our future. We have very real constraints which simply can’t be ignored. The question is, can they be overcome?

So if I asked you “what would you like to do for the rest of your life” , what would your answer be?

Write your answer on a piece of paper. Look at it for a while. Ponder on it. Think about the possibilities. Think about the challenges. Think about how it makes you feel. Are you scared, excited or both? Do you have a sense of peace this is right for you?

It’s when I arrive at this place of peace, I know I’m on the right track to embrace my new dream, to embrace change.

The answer I wrote down to the question; “what would I like to do with the rest of my life?”, I’m sure will come as no surprise:

“To connect in a meaningful way with people suffering from chronic illness, in the hope my shared experiences can help someone else, to live a little better with their disease”

It’s both my dream and my vision statement. It’s also become my reality.

Through blogging, writing, my FB forum and more recently my Podcast, I am actually living my dream despite my disease.

I’ve had to let go of so many things to move forward with my chronic illness life. As a result I’ve grown so much as a person. My understanding of the impacts of disease and disability on the chronic illness sufferer, was so shallow prior to becoming ill. I always cared and I thought I had genuine empathy, but it was never going to be on the level it is now.

My passion for leading, coaching and developing others, was always my strength throughout my career. Back then, never in my wildest dreams, would I have thought this passion was going to be completely flipped on it’s head, in order to be able to redirect my entire focus, on a whole new chronic illness community.

While I wouldn’t wish chronic illness on anyone, I do believe we can gain deep life experiences as a result of it. Life needs to be lived, no matter our circumstances.

I believe we all have skills and talents, some from our life pre chronic illness, and new skills acquired as a result of living with our disease

We can find ways to reinvent ourselves and as Henry Cloud says;

Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”

Don’t remain stuck. Break free. Move Forward.


Sam x

If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding and friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic and complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.

If you prefer an audible blog post, please check out my Podcast, Medical Musings With Sam

I’m a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page

I also write @ Blogs by Christian Women

I’m a member of  the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network  the  Grace Girls Facebook Group and the Salt and Light Linkup Group

If you would like to read a little more about my journey, here’s the link to My Story

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Healthcare Collaborator Nominee 2020
Best in Show: Community Nominee 2020
Best in Show: Blog Nominee 2020


5 thoughts on “We Can Stay Stuck Or We Can Grow

  1. So true! When we learn to let go we give ourselves permission to make changes – and change is a good thing. When I think about what I would like to do for the rest of my life, I ask myself what I’d regret if I didn’t do it.


  2. Loved this post!! Before I got sick, I worked in the fields of Quality and Environmental Management and was an expert in continuous improvement – I taught companies how to create systems to help them continuously improve. So, like you, some years into my illness, I realized I could still set goals and work toward them – they just might be very different than in the past! I have written about this extensively on my blog and in my book.

    This is a great post – both informative and inspirational!


    New Book: Finding a New Normal: Living Your Best Life with Chronic Illness

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Sue for reading and commenting. We sound like two peas in a pod! Congratulations on your book! I know what an achievement that is, especially when your living with chronic illness!
      I’m looking forward to following you and your story



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