So much is happening, and I’m so sorry I haven’t given an update before now.
The Facts
It’s time to drop in and say hi.
I’m not in a good way, and the Prednisone tapering has really taken its toll. I am struggling on so many levels, and Im trying to stick to the tapering, but I have become severely anaemic to the point of non functioning.
It is called chronic conditions anemia, and my Hemaglobins are seriously low. I will be having an iron infusion as soon as possible at home, and hopefully, it will help a little.
I am as blind as a bat. There are so many hurdles to my cataract surgery, but we are on the way to finding a path. A mobile optometrist visited this week, and he is organising a prescription for my short-sighted eye to allow me to watch the TV at least while we wait for surgery.
I also have an OT from Vision Australia visiting tomorrow to assess my situation.
The Distress
I am shattered on every level. I have to be honest that on most days, I cry and exclaim ,” I can’t do this anymore.”
I’m told I’m so strong, but I don’t have any fighting strength left.
Friends come and go, and family go quiet. What can they say? What should they say? Even I dont know.
I want to feed myself again. I want to see you again. I want to use my arms again and feel slightly independent.
I want my electric bed to be comfortable. I want to sleep next to or near my husband. My bedroom used to be my place of haven and rest, now it’s a place of anguish and dread.
My recliner chair used to offer comfort now it represents further painful contortion of my body.
My Hope
It’s unlikely my comfort goals will be achieved, but I will continue to hope and dream. What else can I do?
Love and blessings
Sam xx
My Medical Musings 
Thank you for sharing this, Sam. Your honesty is deeply moving and resonates with so many of us facing similar struggles. You put into words what so many of us feel but can’t always say. Sending you strength and gratitude.
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Sam, my heart truly, truly breaks for you and what you’re going through. I know you’re a tough cookie, and I know your heart is full of hope, gratitude and strength, but what you’re experiencing would have broken most people long before now. You can’t always tough it out, sometimes you need to give in before you can keep fighting. I wish I could hug you. I feel so useless. Sometimes there are situations you see others in that just seem so cruel and unfair, and yours is one of those situations.
Hang in there my friend. You are so loved and we are all sending our hope and best wishes. xxxxxxx
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