Silver Linings, Despite Difficulties

I still get excited like a child in a candy store when unexpected blessings come my way. I don’t know if it’s because I’m facing so many challenges with my health on a daily basis, or because my life has always been such an adventure. I know I feel life is too short not to embrace the highs and the lows and see where they will lead me.

When my husband and I were newly married, and I had taken time away from my career to work with him in the church, we were reading a daily devotional one morning that really spoke to us. It said something like; “God doesn’t promise us an easy path, but He does promise us a safe one.”

The moment we read this, we both had a sense that this was definitely going to be our testimony in our life together. We didn’t know at that stage I was going to end up with a debilitating, crippling disease that was going to be a gift that kept on giving.

When the extent of my illness became a reality, the promise from God all those years prior became an anchor for us both. While to the outside world there wasn’t much that looked good about our future, we both had a deep sense of peace we were going to be kept safe and our needs would be provided for, despite our circumstances.

We even had someone come to us one Sunday morning, as we were sitting quietly in a church pew waiting for the service to start, to tell us he felt we were both going to live for a long time and have a long ministry. By this stage, I was in and out of the hospital, on income protection and medical leave from work, dealing with a Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis and a prolapsed rectum plus facing the prospect of a stoma.

The quiet words spoken to us that morning brought amazing peace and linked beautifully into the promise of a safe path for our future.

I fully believe our times are in God’s hands, and if I am blessed to be breathing, even with a crippled and struggling body, there is still opportunity to embrace life within the bounds of my capabilities. So if a silver lining presents, I’m going to get excited, and when multiple silver linings present I have to at least write about them and share the joy they have brought me, in the midst of a very difficult time.

So Many Silver Linings

As my readers know, I’m booked in for major surgery on the 7th March to fix an enormous stoma hernia and abdominal wall separation, plus my small bowel is at high risk of strangulation. As a result, my existing stoma has to be re-sited from the left side of my abdomen to the right.

So, it’s not the best news and not much to get excited about. But I am so excited about the road to get to this place and the provisions along the way. It’s such an amazing series of blessings all providing a plethora of silver linings.

The Blessings:

• My Hematologist was ordering a CT Scan to monitor lymph nodes and decided to also check out my constipation issues as part of the scan. This scan revealed the enormous and dangerous hernia. (silver lining number one)
• My Pain Management Specialist wasn’t due to see me until April, but she had a cancellation and could see me a week after seeing my Hematologist. She took one look at the CT scan and immediately rang my Colorectal Surgeon while I was in her office. He told me to see him asap the following week. (silver lining number two)
• My Colorectal Surgeon saw me five days later, and he said he wants his best team for the job, so he is waiting until the 7th of March to do the surgery. This was an answer to prayer as it gives us two weeks’ grace to digest all that’s happening and time to organise all that needs organising while I’ll be out of action. (silver lining number three)
• As I met with my surgeon’s practice manager, post my consultation to organise my surgery and hospital admission, she advised me my surgeon would not be charging me for any out of pocket costs and neither would the anaesthetist. We honestly had no idea how we were going to cover the costs of a major surgery, so this was an incredible and unexpected blessing. (silver lining number four)
• I have a registered nurse who visits me weekly to monitor my stoma and keep an eye on my overall symptoms. He had said that if his schedule allowed, he would be happy to transport my husband and I to the hospital on the day of my admission. This would help so much with taking the stress out of the day. Dealing with a wheelchair, walker, luggage, etc. on top of a likely wait for my room to be ready, will definitely take its toll on both of us. My RN works crazy hours, so the likelihood he would be available on the 6th March was pretty slim. So you can imagine how I felt when he told me he had the entire day free and can spend as much time with us as needed! How amazing! To have such one on one support on a difficult day is beyond comforting and a definite blessing. (Silver lining number five)

Yes, life can be difficult, but if we are on the right path, or perhaps the only path open to us, I have often found that path is also full of blessings or silver linings.

As a result of the circumstances leading up to this surgery, I’m going ahead with a sense of peace, hope, and faith that all will be well.

It doesn’t mean recovery won’t be long or difficult, but I do feel I will be safe. I’m in good hands, I have amazing support, and I know God is watching out for me. What more could I ask for?

Despite difficult circumstances, it’s helpful to keep a look out for silver linings and for unexpected blessings. Celebrate the kindness of others when you weren’t expecting it, or look back over the events that perhaps led you to a place where you were made aware of an unknown and potentially dangerous issue. I’m so incredibly grateful for my silver linings and am definitely celebrating them!

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your own difficulties, take a moment to reflect on the circumstances surrounding the difficulties and see what silver linings you may have missed. I hope you find some and realise you too can find a sense of peace in the midst of what may seem endless chaos.

Take care

Sam xx

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