The Real Picture When I Say, “I’m Good.”

As a little girl, around the age of 5 or 6, my parents taught me how to answer our home telephone. No mobiles in those days. A good old fashioned 1970’s styled phone where you physically needed to place your finger in the telephone dial, choosing one number at time from the telephone number and turning the dial each time until the call was connected.

I can still remember my answering script to this day. I would eagerly rush to the ringing phone and in my brightest, best grown up voice possible,  I would say:

” Hello, 4181970, can I help you?”

The caller inevitably asked:

” Is your Mum or Dad there?

My scripted response was:

” Yes, I’ll just get them, can I please ask who’s calling?”

My decorum and professionalism, at such a young age, quickly  departed as I ran excitedly through the house shouting:

” Mum, Dad, phone call…Mr/Mrs xx is on the phone”

Oh well, I’m sure the caller had a good chuckle.

The Professional Approach

My phone answering training as a little girl, really paved the way for how I would communicate in adult life.

In my business career, the emphasis on professionalism and excellent customer service further instilled the need to present myself in an upbeat, positive manner.

Add in my natural positive disposition as my default mode, no matter my circumstances, I was always going to try to sound bright, upbeat, and happy.

The Real Picture

I was lying on the bed the other day in so much pain when my mobile began to ring. My bone disease was doing its best to break me, and I was struggling to breathe, let alone talk to anyone.

Still, my inbuilt professional persona began to surface as I looked at the phone next to me on the bed. It was inevitable. I would answer this call.

On a good day, my pain level is 7/10. When I’m waiting for my pain meds to kick in, the pain level is around 9//10. Not the best time to think answering a phone is a good idea.

I had only just swallowed my afternoon medication when the phone rang.

I was pale, shaking and distressed due to my pain levels, yet this is how I answered the phone:

” Sam Moss, Can I Help you?”…. (Insert smiling face and cheerful voice)

” Hi Sam, It’s Mandy, how are you?”

“Hi Mandy, I’m good, how are you?”

I’m Good, How Are You?

There we have it! I could hear these words spouting out of my mouth.

” I’m good”

I could feel myself screaming internally……”No, you’re not good. You’re far from good. You can hardly breathe from the pain, and you can’t move.”

The really stupid thing is that my caller knew I wasn’t ok. She was my occupational therapist. There was no need for me to put on a brave front. There was no need to pretend all was well.

So Why Did I Say ” I’m Good”?

My answer is two-fold:

1. Conditioning – I’ve been trained from an early age to answer the phone in a professional manner and my career endorsed this mindset
2. Desire – In many regards I see myself the way I want to be… healthy. Mentally, I’m good. Physically….not so much!

Body and Soul

There is a beautiful old hymn called “It is well with my Soul”.

The first verse sums up exactly what I mean when I say “I’m Good”.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

As a Christian, my faith helps me experience a sense of peace. It is well with my soul….no matter my circumstances. I trust God will help me through every twist and turn in my life and provide a safe passage, even if it seems impossible.

My faith also convicts me I need to be more honest and precise when talking to people about how I am. To say “I’m good”, is so often far from true.

If I said “It is well with my soul”, while accurate, it would sound rather pious and a bit ambiguous. Not really helpful for me or the caller.

So What Can I Say On The Phone?

When I’m talking to someone face to face it’s pretty obvious I’m in pain. My eyes give it away. I’m constantly wriggling to try to get comfortable. My walker or wheelchair are my constant companions, and when I do try to walk without them, I am clearly crippled.

The phone is so different though. Those visual signs just aren’t there.

So, I’ve decided, if I know the caller, the best approach for me, when asked how I am, is to simply say;

” I’m good….my body, not so much”

It’s honest and precise, and if I need to provide more details, it opens an opportunity to discuss further what’s going on.

It invites the caller into my life and allows me to keep the call short or arrange a call back if I’m really struggling.

Chronic illness is difficult enough without us making it more complicated.

Keeping our responses to simple questions, short, sweet, and honest, not only helps us manage our diseases better, it ultimately helps those who live and work with us and who care for us.

It helps others better understand our needs and situation.

So today, if you happen to call me and ask me how I am, my response will simply be;

” I’m good….my body is misbehaving though“

Take care

Sam xx

Medical Musings with Friends

If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding and friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic and complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.

My Book

My book “My Medical Musings”, is published by Imaginewe Publishers and available now to purchase as a paperback or e-book.

Here are the links to online retailers if you would like to purchase the book:

Imaginewe Publishers

Amazon

Koorong

Booktopia

Book Depository

Angus and Robertson

Barnes and Noble

Blackwells

My Podcast

If you would like an audible version of my blog, please check out my Podcast, Medical Musings With Sam

I’m also a Contributor at “The Mighty”. You can check out my published articles at My Author Page

I’m a member of the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network the Grace Girls Facebook Group and the Showered In Grace Group

Please click here to read our Privacy Policy