Swapping Sleeping Sides After 28 Years… Did We Achieve it?

My husband and I have been married for almost 28 years, and during that time, he’s slept on the right side of the bed, and I’ve slept on the left.

For whatever reason, it’s always felt right that way, comfortable for both of us. It’s almost  like the bed has inbuilt traffic lights with a voice message....”roll over now, it’s safe to do so as you won’t get an elbow in your face. ” …..that kind of thing.

It’s 5am, and I’m not in bed. Although I’m so exhausted from an over busy week and I need to be there. I need to be comfortable, secure, and free from an elbow bent in such a way that it’s like a bow waiting for its arrow to be inserted, and fired directly into the side of my spine!

Too dramatic? Maybe. Maybe not.

I know I’ve had no choice but to escape to a safer, more comfortable place and, let’s face it, the only thing that will help me recover from a nocturnal attack like this is a trusty cup of  tea!

So Why Are We Swapping Sides?

Our lives are yet again being disrupted by my disease. A new indoor wheelchair has arrived this week to assist me in living the best life possible with my inoperable unstable spine and widespread broken bones.

The way our bedroom was set up was not wheelchair accessible for me. We could have rotated the bed in the room so I could stay on my side. However, the bed headboard would have been under the window, and I would have lost my outlook. Being able to see outside when resting in the afternoon is so important to me.

A few years ago, Peter put up a gorgeous arbour outside the bedroom window with a climbing banksia rose.  It always brings me joy to see it as I rest, and especially as its delicate leaves tap on the window as if requesting permission to come into the room.

The Roll on Effect

We thought swapping sleeping sides would be the end of necessary changes. We couldn’t have been more wrong!

When the wheelchair arrived, my occupational therapist was with me, along with the technician. Both are such lovely ladies, and they made the installation and test drive a fun experience.

It soon became clear that our home needs major modifications for me to gain the benefits the chair can offer me.

We are in the process of getting a quote for Government funded major home modifications. This will be a process and not a quick one.

So we needed to look at what we could do now to make some small effective changes.

Let It Go, Let It Go….

The song from “Frozen” seems applicable. Sometimes, we can be so sentimental about items we have, we can allow them to cause us to be frozen in time, unable to create a new experience, a new look, a new future.

Our “frozen” item was a beautiful dresser we bought when we first got married. It was the first piece of furniture we ever bought together. However, it was over large for the space, and I’ve always struggled getting  my walker, let alone a large power wheelchair, past it!

So, it was time to be brave and make the decision to part ways with this piece of furniture that always made our houses feel like home! I say houses as we have moved 20 times due to work relocations, either my husband’s or mine.

I’ve never used FB marketplace before, so I was a little nervous about listing our much loved cabinet on the site.

Unbelievably, it sold within 5 minutes!

Once gone, we then had the dilemma of what do we put along such a big blank wall that won’t protrude into the room and hinder wheelchair access.

We also don’t have money to buy new furniture, so we had to think outside the box and look at what small, lightweight items we already had scattered around our home. I think the final decision we made (see below) has worked well, and the whole living space feels so spacious! It is actually spacious, so mission accomplished!

It’s Ok To Say No To Change

After sorting out our living space issue, we decided we needed a good think and discussion about our new sleeping arrangements.

After 8 nights of sleeping on the opposite side of the bed, neither of us felt rested or relaxed. We felt exhausted, and with the dangerous elbow by my side, I didn’t feel safe. To be fair, Peter did cop me punching him in the face by accident as I was trying to turn in bed. He wasn’t safe either.

So, two nights ago, we made the decision that swapping sleeping sides was one change too many.

You know it’s ok to sometimes admit defeat. In fact, it often takes more strength of character and courage to do so than to continue with a situation, a circumstance that isn’t right for you and is being driven by others ideas of what they think is best for you.

We are so pleased to be back on our usual sides of the bed. I don’t sleep well due to my pain, but I definitely sleep better when I’m in my slumber comfort zone.

I hope you all have the courage to change when needed and the strength to refuse when necessary. You’ll know what’s right for you. It will be a sense of peace, relief, and happiness wafting over you as you make the decision that is the best fit for you at this moment, at this time of your life.

So on that note, it’s getting late and I will say “Goodnight” and enjoy my beautiful bed.

Sweet dreams and take care,

Sam xx

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