It Takes A Village

“It Takes a Village” is such a familiar phrase for most of us, isn’t it.

What does it really mean though? I hazard a guess that its meaning is slightly different for all of us depending on our circumstances and the people in our lives.

Due to a series of life events, the concept of needing a village and having a village has suddenly become a huge reality for me.

So, I want to share with you what my village looks like and celebrate its love, support, and generosity in my time of need.

Life is short, and blessings are precious. We so often let them slip past us in the busyness of life, and I think that’s a shame.

I hope as I walk you through my village you’ll begin to recognise you also have a village. It might just not be what you imagined.

Come With Me For A Wander Through My Village, Past and Present

My village has changed over the years. In many regards its widened as people have come and gone from my life.

My village used to include:

Parents – Over the years, my parents were there to provide emotional support and financial support in hours of need, as was I for them. With their passing a village vacancy, a gaping gap was felt deeply.
Parish – My husband is an Anglican minister (retired now). We were blessed for many years to be a part of the church “village.” Support provided and given was mutual. Spiritual, physical, practical, financial, every kind of support necessary was available. Unfortunately, since I have become severely disabled and Peter has retired, our connection with our church denomination is pretty much non-existent. We are now connected with an online Presbyterian church based in the USA with an office in Sydney. The Sydney team are so beautiful and often ring to pray with me and chat, and they support and promote “My Medical Musings.” I am so grateful for their love and support. I am disappointed in the lack of support from the church Peter and I have served for years, but I think it’s a case of “out of sight out of mind” and I hazard a guess, sadly, we are not the only ones this has happened to.
My Workplace – During my working years, the team I led and my workplace in general were definitely my village. The sense of community and the culture of support and friendship we created was at times not only extraordinary but magical. Every problem could be shared without fear of criticism or judgement. Help was provided in anyones hour of need, and when my health collapsed completely, I honestly felt supported by the entire large financial institution. It was by all accounts my extended family. Wow, do I miss it!

My Village today is a beautiful place….let’s take a wander through together and I’ll introduce you:

My Husband– The first person you’ll meet at the gates of my village is my beautiful husband.
I’m so grateful for Peter, who is the most supportive and loving husband. Thank you Sweetheart, for holding my hand through the pain, for encouraging me to pursue my dreams, for your unwavering commitment to our marriage, and for being the hero in our love story.
My Family – They are scattered far and wide, so their support varies. I have immediate family made up of Aunties and Uncles and Cousins in the UK, a brother and nephews and their families interstate in Australia. I have a beautiful step family, full of sons and a daughter, and granddaughters and a grandson, all who also live interstate in Western Australia. Communication is via phone, whatsapp, messenger, text, email, and when possible, some members of our family are able to travel to see us. One thing is for sure, we know they are there for us, and support and love are mutual.
My “Adoptive” Parents – In the mid-90s, Peter and I had just got married, I’d left my job as a Bank Manager to work on a special project in the church, and Peter had accepted a position as Rector of a full time workload Parish, with a part-time salary, in order to support a ministry in need. We were living on the smell of an oily rag. My own immediate family had unfortunately fractured, and my support network in this regard became non-existent. Not for long though, as we met the most beautiful couple in their early 60s who quickly “adopted” me as their daughter, and they became my mum and dad in every sense of the word. They supported us emotionally, spiritually, and practically. I don’t know how many times they came to our door with fish and chips in hand on a Friday night as we were so exhausted and needed a listening ear. Or they gave us money, just the right amount we needed for food or bills without them even knowing our exact need. They are now in their 80s but still my “adoptive” parents, and I love them dearly. My village would not be the same without them.
My Best Friend – As with my family, my best friend also lives interstate. That doesn’t diminish our friendship and the love and support we provide and have provided each other over the 20 years we’ve been friends. She and her husband find time to come and see us as often as they can, and our support of each other is both practical and emotional and so precious.
My Wider Friend Network – I am blessed to have made some lifelong friends over the years, who do live close enough to visit for a cuppa, to share a load, to help out in practical ways, and to give me peace of mind to know I can call them in a crisis.
My Forum- Medical Musings with Friends – Now this is a busy part of my village but definitely somewhere to take some time to stop and say hi. This part of my village has over 1800 people from all over the world in it. They all suffer from some kind of chronic disease, and they completely understand the difficulties of living life with ongoing illness and disability. They are all trying to live the best life possible despite their diseases. They are full of compassion for other forum members and someone is always available 24/7 to hold your hand in a virtual sense if life is a little tough, or to celebrate milestones, birthdays and anniversaries. This group of villagers is just so special. They give me so much purpose, and it’s with joy that I provide a large plot of garden in my village for them to reside, full of love and care.
My Ex-Colleagues – After having such an amazing career and working with such incredible people during that time, it’s not surprising that many of my ex-Colleagues are in my village. Some are dear friends, and others are part of my extended support network when I need to reach out for a particular need in their area of expertise. My ex boss even wrote the forward in my recently published book, My Medical Musings, A Story of Love, Laughter,Faith, and Hope,Living With A Rare Disease . I am just so grateful that he is a part of such a huge milestone in my life.
My Volunteer Colleagues – Since medically retiring ten years ago now, I’ve been volunteering for Arthritis Queensland. It’s been a joy to be a part of this community and to assist them with building their online support forums. As much as I have done for them, they have given so much to me in terms of support, even nominating me for an amazing national patient advocate award a few years ago. They have supported me having my own chronic illness forum and encouraged me with my writing. They are a very special part of my village.
My Gardener – Every village needs a Gardner. Someone to plant flowers, design the flower beds, and know when to water, when to prune, and when to add new seedlings or perhaps mature trees. In my village, my flowers and plants are the people who are in my life to help me at just the right moments. I may have a financial need, a housing need, a medical emergency, or simply need a listening ear over a much needed cup of tea. Only one Gardener could possibly know who the right people are at any point in time to be in my village, and only one Gardener could know my needs before I even knew I had them.
Who is my Gardener? Without a doubt, my Gardener is God. He is the architect of my village. He brings the right people into my life and ensures I am never without an occupied village. The miraculous interactions with my villagers confirm that God is looking over me and has a plan for my life, even when circumstances might seem overly complicated and challenging. I am so blessed and so grateful.

Thank you to my Village Residents

Life is a little challenging at the moment. The cost of living is crippling us as it is many people. We are literally living pension to pension. We need to release equity in our home, but being pensioners, lenders just don’t want to know us. Our only option is to sell our home and downsize. It’s doable but not desirable when you are severely disabled and your husband is now in his 80s. We’ll work it out over the coming months, but in the meantime, we are so grateful for some special villagers who have helped us out financially to get food and attend medical appointments. We honestly don’t know what we would have done without you.

I started this blog post posing the question, “What does, ‘It Takes a Village’ really mean?”

I think it means a community of amazing people, whether family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers, all providing practical and emotional support when it’s really needed. This, to me, is the essence of what it means when we say, “It takes a Village.”

Much love,

Sam xx

Medical Musings with Friends

If you’re looking for genuine support, care, understanding and friendship, you are so welcome to join my closed Facebook support forum, Medical Musings with Friends . It’s a safe place to connect with others living with chronic and complex diseases, who truly understand the daily challenges. A warm welcome awaits.